REMEMBER TO STAY SAFE!

Michael Lumish

Do not take risks. Stay at home. Do not see anyone. Do not kiss anyone. Do not touch anyone. Do not eat in restaurants. Stay away from strangers. Only trust people who hide their identities, like bank robbers, Klansmen, and Antifa.

Never touch your face.

Wash your hands.

{Are you washing your hands? Go wash your hands!}

Yay, though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death I will cringe in fear and tremble beneath a blanket.

Do not visit friends or go to parties.

Stay away from your office or places of business until Nancy Pelosi and Andrew Cuomo allow.

Do not go to sporting events or parks or weddings or houses of worship.

{Rioting, burning buildings, attacking cops, and killing people in the streets are just fine, however, if done in the name of "social justice."}

Accept unemployment with good cheer, because you are not alone.

Never mind the tanking world economy because the ruination of our national and personal lives is necessary to fight this evil.

Never mind rising rates of crime and homicide.

Never mind the likely rise in divorce and domestic violence.

Never mind increased rates of suicide.

Never mind increased poverty.

Never mind increased homelessness and the consequent rise of wretched tent encampments throughout the United States.

Never mind old people sitting alone in their homes or apartments with no one to help them.

Never mind the hearing impaired who find it exceedingly difficult to negotiate a world filled with masks.

Never mind children raised to fear others.

Just keep your head down, your mouth shut, and do as your told.

Remember, it's only been six months of lockdown with masks.

Only six more years to go!

Please live safely and in fear.