Thursday, May 5, 2016

The Passover Curse

Michael L.

Moses TabletsThose of you who follow the ongoing Lumish Fiasco of Life know about the Passover Curse.

Ever since Laurie and I started holding regular Passover Seders G-d has come down each year in his Mighty Wrath to kick my ass!

It's not my fault.

It's His!

Every year that we hold a Passover Seder I get my ass kicked by G-d.

It has become a Lumish Family tradition.

Every year, around March, I start fretting about Passover and every Passover - either just the week prior or just days later - G-d hits me in the head.

The other year a skunk sprayed our dog, Georgy-Peorgy, the day before Passover and Laurie let the mutt into our house, thus stinking up the entire joint. It was awful! It is one thing to catch a drift of skunk as your driving down the road, but it is another thing entirely to actually have it in your house the day before Passover.

We managed to clean out our joint before our friends arrived.

And then, just a few years ago, I got bit by a dog and my hand blew up like a balloon. I conducted the entire Seder with my hand held above my heart, according to doctors' instructions, much to the amusement and satisfaction of our guests.

And this year I got into a fight with a cupboard door and the cupboard door won!

None of this is tragic in a Greek sense, but I still have to wonder.

Passover is my favorite holiday.

We usually pack them in and have a good time and I sit at the head of the table.

It is my one day a year to hold court, I suppose.

And every year I tell them that Passover is about freedom and, thus, about enjoying yourself.

And every year I get my ass kicked.

23 comments:

  1. Did you have a gold cow lying around somewhere?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. btw, the next time that you get down into the city we should hook-up for a beer or whatever.

      Delete
  2. Mike,
    Hope you feel better soon.

    On the bright side, you have a sense of humour!

    And so does G-d.:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Humour?

      Humour?

      What's with you Brits and that unnecessary "U"?

      Huh?

      Huh? Huh? Huh?

      What's the old cliché?

      The United States and Great Britain are two countries separated by a common language?

      I cannot tell you how many times that Shirlee has come roaming around this joint to beat me over the head for - according to her - misusing the English language.

      Of course, she's in Australia, so what the hell does she know!

      :O)

      Delete
    2. We can't help it if you guys are a bunch of hicks.

      We write "centre" not "center."

      We tried to do our best, but then you did that stupid thing in 1776.

      Now you can't spell properly.

      ;)

      Delete
    3. Y'know, Kate, I imagine at some point in the past you probably saw the movie The Great Escape.

      It's about an Allied military prison break from Nazi Germany during the Big One.

      Big cast. Big Stars. Big budget from sometime in the mid-60s, I think.

      There is a scene wherein American captain Steve McQueen is speaking with a higher ranking and older British officer who says, in a clipped British accent, "So, how are you boys doing over there?"

      And Steve McQueen is tossing a baseball into his mitt and he looks up at the British officer and says something like, "Well, I guess we're doing OK, sir."

      I watch this movie about once every three or four years and that scene never fails to crack me up!

      Delete
    4. It is a great film. Sorry, "movie."

      Love Steve McQueen in that.

      You still can't spell properly, though.

      I shouldn't worry about it, you can't have everything.





      Delete
    5. The Great Escape, yeah, I saw it when it first came out. It was around 1963 or 1964, I believe. A definite favorite. Richard Attenborough, James Garner, Donald Pleasence, Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, James Coburn, etc....
      McQueen - from The Blob to Bullitt, one of my childhood movie idols.

      Delete
    6. Humor?
      Mike, which hand did you hurt? I hope it isn't the one you type with.
      (rim shot)

      Delete
  3. A whole bunch of links, especially for Jeff.

    First: This is the latest from Labour. It's breathtaking in its stupidity and hatred.

    http://mickhartley.typepad.com/blog/2016/05/livingstone-formulating.html

    It's awful. Beware.

    2)
    This is brilliant:
    http://www.thetower.org/article/the/holocaust-the-left-and-the-return-of-hate/

    3)

    Short, and really interesting:

    http://www.edwest.co.uk/telegraph-blogs/the-worship-of-equality-has-played-a-part-in-the-recent-rise-of-anti-semitism/


    4)

    Really good article:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/04/28/the-lefts-hatred-of-jews-chills-me-to-the-bone/


    5)

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk.news/2016/04/29/how-the-labour-party-embraced-an-ideology-that-has-race-hate-at/

    If you get through this, hope it helps.

    K.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. k,
      Jamie Palmer's piece was great and a must read for everyone. I've already read most of the others.
      Livingstone is an ignorant tool.

      Delete
    2. Jeff,
      Jamie Palmer's piece is terrific. Agreed!

      Livingstone is ignorant and vile!! And over here...

      Delete
    3. k,
      Caroline Glick's searing analysis:

      http://www.jpost.com/Opinion/Column-One-More-than-is-absolutely-necessary-453258

      She refuses to be anyone's fool. She is brilliant.

      Delete
  4. WTF did you think "Chosen People" meant?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, I have never really understood exactly what it means.

      All I know is that it is not good and tends to piss-off non-Jews.

      Delete
    2. Hey!
      It's not our fault we were chosen.

      Delete
    3. It's an early bit of contract law or, if you like, a social compact.

      Deborah Orr, at the Guardian, got into a bit of trouble a few years back over a popularly antisemitic misinterpretation of "chosenness" relating it to the deal Israel made with Hamas for the release of that soldier they had kidnapped and were holding.

      Delete
    4. Yes, she did. It was a typically nasty little piece.
      Interesting thing about the so-called intelligentsia, regardless of whether they're antisemitic, they are totally ignorant of religion and theology. Not a clue about anything. Their combined knowledge about Christianity and its contribution to Western civilization is zero. Astonishing, really. Even the decent ones are so convinced that we live in a post-Christian secular world and that, therefore, religion is a lot of ridiculous rubbish, that they utterly fail to understand how the society we live in got to be the way it is. Drives me nuts. You don't have to believe in religion or G-d to grasp the history of ideas that created Western culture and civilization.
      It's amazing that they can be so dumb.

      Delete
    5. I have never shared the western-left disdain for religion.

      I love to remind people - those who do have a distaste for religion - that it was Martin Luther King, Jr. of the (ahem) Southern Christian Leadership Conference that led the Civil Rights Movement in the 50s and 60s with more than a few rabbis, btw, marching in solidarity.

      From my perspective, however, religion as we see it is an outward manifestation of inner potential.

      That is, among the purposes of religious traditions is to transform the individual into a clearer and kinder and more "spiritual" individual.

      Buddhism, in my view, could hardly be more clear.

      You still the mind for the purpose of removing selfish desire in order to release the self from the cycle of rebirths.

      Mahayana Buddhism (Zen) is even more clear.

      What Zen says is, quite simply, sit your ass down and shut up!

      And then they come around, as your sitting zazen, and hit you with a stick.

      :O)

      Delete
  5. ???????????

    http://www.timesofisrael.com/man-seeks-restraining-order-against-god/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, well, this I definitely have to check out.

      A restraining order against G-d, you say?

      Sounds like a fine idea to me.

      I wonder how that's working out for the guy?

      Delete