Tuesday, April 29, 2014

A Little Trip Down Memory Lane

Michael L.

This is the piece, dated 3/10/10, that got me booted off of Daily Kos.

I like this bit because I think that it is funny, as did others, as you can plainly see if you are crazy enough to slog through all 423 comments.

So, without further adieu:

toilet1Sheikh Jarrah, East Jerusalem --- The entire world was shocked yesterday when this reporter revealed that retired electrician, Ehud David Netanyolmert, shook the peace process to its roots by building an illegal second bathroom in his East Jerusalem home.

“This is yet another example of Israeli intransigence,” said Palestinian Authority PM, Mahmoud Abbas. “We cannot negotiate with the Israelis if they insist upon violating international law with the continued building on Palestinian lands. Israel must pressure Mr. Netanyolmert to dismantle the illegal mini-settlement that he has constructed.”

Only slightly taken aback by the world community’s rejection of the second bathroom, Benjamin Netanyahu told the Jerusalem Post, “Israel wants peace and two states for two peoples. The Palestinians need to sit down at the negotiating table and I honestly do not see what some guy's second bathroom has to do with anything.”

In Washington, US President Barack Obama convened an emergency meeting with his cabinet in order to evaluate the situation and to determine the best response to this most recent Israeli aggression. In response to the crisis US diplomat George Mitchell claimed, “Israelis have rights, but so do the Palestinian people. While the United States remains deeply committed to Israeli security, it is entirely unclear how the second bathroom promotes that security or in any way advances the cause of peace.”

When queried about this blatant Zionist violation of international law Mr. Netanyolmert objected to the entire line of enquiry. “You people are meshuganah,” Netanyolmert said while standing in his doorway, wearing his jammies and blinking into the morning sun. “Are you honestly telling me that Vladimir Putin objects to my second bathroom on the grounds that it is an impediment to peace? Vladimir Putin? Really?”

It should be obvious to any reasonable observer that Mr. Netanyolmert’s myopia regarding Zionist aggression, and his willingness to derail the peace process, cannot be allowed to go unchallenged. The Palestinian peace organization, Hamas, therefore responded today with a flurry of Qassam and Katyusha rocket attacks on S’derot and Ashkelon. The typical Israeli myopia extended to former S’derot mayor, Eli Moyal, who, while quivering under his desk, is alleged to have told his secretary, “Second bathroom? What second bathroom? What the hell are these people talking about?”

Meanwhile, a variety of Israeli left-of-center organizations are planning a mass rally in opposition to The Second Bathroom. Naomi Chazan, of the New Israel Fund, said that dozens of people will gather outside Mr. Netanyolmert’s home in solidarity with Palestinian activists in a No Second Bathroom rally. The protestors will carry signs reading, “Get the Hell out of the Bathroom, Already!” and “Netanyolmert, Zionist Criminal Baby Killer!” and “Who Do These Jews Think They Are, Anyways?!”

Some fear that just as Ariel Sharon's stroll on the Temple Mount inevitably caused the Al-Aqsa Intifada, so Mr. Netanyolmert's violation of Palestinian sovereignty might spark a third... The First Second Bathroom Intifada.

One hopes that if the Israeli government makes the necessary concessions by evacuating the bathroom then the Palestinian Authority might be persuaded to sit down for peace talks.

But who would blame the PA if they refuse?


  1. Oh my G-d, Doodad, did you really?

    You read through much of those comments?

    I owe you my sincerest apologies.

    You have always been a good friend to me and to IT and I feel guilty for putting you directly into the path of old poison.

    But, I am going fishing!

  2. A refreshing diary about an altogether entirely different... wait for it... 'movement.' The "Palestinian peace group Hamas" is a fantastic touch. Surprised I don't see more people there using that phrase.

  3. So what was the 'official' reason you got kicked out of there anyway, Mike? That was just before I jumped into discussing the A-I conflict there, and it seemed that it took making actual neo-Nazis blush before the anti-Israel antisemites would even get so much as a warning; while all it generally took for a Jewish and / or pro-Israel person to get banned or, in my case, 'NR'ed' for a couple of years, was to embarrass management by calling antisemites antisemites too often.

    I've been back a few times over the past year just for entertainment purposes. You know, essentially tapping antisemitic anti-Zionists on their shoulder, then running around the other side and flicking their ear, etc etc. ;)

    The new generation of antisemitic anti-Zionists there are so easy to rile up anymore. Perhaps because all but two or three regular pro-Israel posters have long been banned or run off that site, and they're shocked to find the occasional dissenting voice in their echo chamber? Ah, but anyway, I think I'm done there again myself, for good this time.

    My days feel so much cleaner without that place, even though I literally work with shit for a living. Heh.

    1. I actually do not recall just what the reason that they gave.

      It apparently had something to do with the idea that I was insufficiently deferential to our former masters in the Middle East.

  4. Ron Proser asks:

    "I wonder how taxpayers in London, Luxembourg and Paris would feel knowing that they will enable Hamas to launch more rockets into Israel, kidnap more Israelis, and send more suicide bombers into our cafés."


    I suspect those taxpayers will giggle in delight that evil old Israel will be getting some comeuppance. Jerks.

    1. Doodad, they won't giggle in delight.

      What I expect is a smirk of condescension.