Friday, April 18, 2014

Skunked on Passover

Michael L.

skunkI cannot believe this.

We are conducting our Passover seder tomorrow evening and I have a bunch of people coming over.

However, this morning, as Laurie was walking our sweet, new poooch Gorgie-Porgie, he got sprayed by a skunk and now the entire house reeks of it.

I may literally have to cancel because I cannot have dozens of people coming into a house for Passover that reeks of skunk!

I am simply flabbergasted and last year there was also a problem on Passover that saw me admitted into an emergency room.

I am guessing that Hashem does not want me conducting Passover seders!

I am horrified, disgusted, and dismayed and this house reeks!

Oh, for G-d's Sake, really???


  1. Sorry to hear this, Mike. Skunks seem to be a thing lately. A coworker of mine was just telling me about how her dog attacked a skunk, was sprayed, then somehow ended up running around with the skunk in its mouth, first back into their house, then out the front door, at which point they had to chase it (their angry, stinky, apparently temporarily insane dog) through the streets of Bayonne, New Jersey. With a skunk in its mouth.

    Quite a scene, I would imagine.

    I suppose it was ultimately not too hard to chase down by smell, if not by sight.

    Anyway, I'm taking a train out to Ardmore, PA in a few, to visit Tired Hands Brewing. I'll dedicate my first beer to your misfortune!

  2. Sorry to hear that Mike. Hope you get rid of the smell ok.

  3. Likely that skunk is a member of the Palestine Solidarity Committee.

    1. Let's cut actual skunks a break, they bathe themselves more often...

    2. Skunks smell pretty sweet compared to those wankers and ALL antizionists.

    3. Skunks also have more self-respect than sniveling little Soviet ass-kissing traitor Edward Snowden, yet another hero of much of the 'progressive left' for some time now.

      Welcome to the Big Boys Game, fella. You ready to be Putin's bitch for the rest of your life?


  4. Mike there is a message here for you.

    Hashem is telling you that you cannot have a seder at any other time than on 14th night of Nissan. That's why these obstacles are in your way. That's when you must have a seder and the date of it cannot be altered.

    Also you can't have a Seder on the last night, because the last night is one of the four times in the year when you have to light a juhrzeit candle.I've just lit mine.

    1. Yes, but the message could have been delivered less harshly than with a skunk!

    2. Last year I suffered a dog bite to the hand and had to go to the emergency room on the very day that I led our seder.

      Today, I am happy to report, that we've done an effective job of airing out the house and washing things down and cleaning up George so that we can go forward this evening.

      I tell you one thing, tho, next year it's going to be on the 14th night of Nissan, even if it does end up being a Wednesday!

    3. Jason, G-d works in mysterious ways.

      Even though I am not religious I feel very guilty if I go anyway or do anything I shouldn't do on a yom tov or shabbos.

      Michael, you've learnt the hard way.

      Looked it up for you, first seder night in 2015, is Friday April 3rd. Now that's a biggie and very early AND also Good Friday.

      I wonder if that has happened before? 1st seder night is when the Romans, supposedly according to the NT, arrested Jesus.

    4. That'll be an official state holiday, as a public employee of the State of New Jersey, for me, then. Though hopefully by next year, I'll be working such days. For double pay. Yes, please.

      I'm taking off for Yom Kippur this year, though. During any given year, the five days I will always take off, are Yom Kippur, Thanksgiving, US Election Day (which really needs to become a holiday for all of us soon), July 4th and Memorial Day.

    5. (I love that Labor Day is a federal holiday, but I don't specifically take it off, because every day is Labor Day to me. I of course enjoy having it off when that happens, but just knowing there is a national holiday in honor of people like me is enough)

  5. Oh that's terrible. We don't have skunks but we do have possums, rabbits and deer that the hounds go after.