Thursday, March 7, 2013

Plague of Locusts; Plague of Giant Rats


(h/t Israel Matzav)

Don't look at me that way; I just report this stuff.

Egypt is experiencing a plague of locusts and Iran is experiencing a plague of giant rats...some as big as 11 pounds.


  1. The end of the world is nigh!

    I'm telling ya, maybe the Evangelicals are correct!

    The nations of the world are going to fight it out over The Holy Land and then Jesus is gonna come back and then I am going to immediately convert to Christianity!

    You stiff-necked bastards probably won't convert, so I don't know what I can do to help you.

    I imagine myself standing before Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer. Peter will be impatiently tapping his foot, with his arms folded over his chest, and I'll be looking around over my sunglasses thinking:

    Holy Crap! It all turned out to be true!

    And then, of course, I get all my lost socks back, along with untold number of sunglasses, various wristwatches, about a gazillion pens, and all my former pets.

    Good times!

    {Jeez, I'm feeling daffy.}

    1. I'm gonna stay down here and enjoy everybody else's stuff. Move into Monk's Cafe, first, and drink myself silly on whatever kegs of Flemish Sour are left behind... ;-P

  2. Byproducts of nuclear research ====> mutated rats? Just askin.

    1. Not likely, or at least not on any large scale. I am not a scientist, but I believe rats the size of cats (I do not like them, Sam I Am!) are not impossible in the right circumstances, and the explanation (if true) is likely much less interesting - poor urban trash collection system, or whatever.

      Perhaps Iran should spend more on cleaning up its cities, and less on apocalyptic fantasy programs. That's the lesson here, I'd guess.

      I've seen rats almost as big as my mother's cats in our subterranean transit system here in Philadelphia, and NYC certainly has an even bigger problem in theirs.

    2. Visions of Hamato Yoshi, and his millions of rat friends, all protected by Donatello, Michalangelo, Raphael, and Leonardo. Pizza deliveries up in Tehran, by chance?

    3. Oh, ha. I should have known. After all, the TMNT Nintendo game was a significant part of my youth...