In Jeremy Ben-Ami's response to the kidnapping and murder of the three Israeli teenagers, the most important message is that we should see the Palestinians' point of view so that we will not fill with hatred against them. Ben-Ami has a kernel of truth to his point. Our tradition teaches us that we should emulate the ways of the Lord. When it comes to provocations, Ashkenazim say to G-d during the unetane tokef on the High Holidays, based on Ezekiel 33:11, "You do not desire the death of the condemned man, rather that he shall repent and live." It continues, "You will wait until he dies."
What this teaches is that our preferred aftermath of the atrocities that the Islamists commit against us should be that the Islamists will repent and allow us to dwell securely in our land which even their book recognizes as ours, and that is what we should pray for. The issue becomes what should be our secondary preference, that is what if they do not repent. Ben-Ami is implying that we should just turn the other cheek until they do. Such a position has no support, particularly in what follows in the passage in Ezekiel.
What we need to do is hone our ability to interdict their atrocities against us. The guiding principle should be the legal definition of proportionality, not the pseudodefinition of one Hatfield for one McCoy that is so popular in politically correct circles. That is targets have to be selected based on how hitting them degrades their ability to perpetrate what is legitimately called a grievance and the impact on non-combatants should not clearly outweigh the gravity of the provocation. Doing so will minimize the harm they can inflict until, if it should ever happen, they repent.